Authentic Frontier Gibberish

This blog is dedicated to the memory of that eloquent orator of the Old West, Gabby Johnson, and all those who so faithfully try and live up to his reputation today.

Location: San Bernardino, California

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Send in the Clowns Pt 2

Some third-rate writer for the The Village Voice, Michael Feingold, was suppoosed to be writing a theater review about Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. Unfortunately, he decided to use the occasion to launch a typical Leftwing bed-wetter attack on Pres. Bush and the Republican leadership in Congress. He wrote:

"The Web's jangle of contradictory statements, arriving when our attention spans had already been shortened by television, at least partially explains the public apathy that keeps the most incompetent administration, and the most corrupt congressional majority, in American history comfortably in office."

In case you need a translation, he's saying that the American people are a bunch of mouth-breathing morons because they support an administration he disagrees with.

Hey Mikey, just shut the hell up and review the play numbnuts! It's bad enough that a writer would be unprofessional enough to include this comment in a theater review, but at least one editor had to OK it. This is exactly the type of thing Bernie Goldberg talks about though, these guys see nothing wrong with this crap, because eveyone they know thinks the same way, and does the same type of thing.

My only consolation is these guys are so removed from reality, they haven't realized yet that they are never going to win a national election again.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Gabby Johnson Award for Best Gibberish - March 2006

Today, one of the reporters covering the pro-immigration rallies from yesterday came up with this gem:

"They are upset with H.R. 4437 because it would criminalize the undocumented workers who are here illegally."

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Modern America

I was surfing the web, and I came across this description:

Lesley Kartali is a queer transgender graduate from Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Lesley is also interested in social justice work and simply enjoys the feeling of being alive.

Is it even possible to be both queer and transgender? So let's say that Lesley (nice andro name by the way) was born a man. And he likes women, and wants to have sex with them. But for some reason he feels the need to become a woman, but still wants to have sex with women.

Given the above, how can (s)he claim to simply enjoy the feeling of being alive? There is clearly nothing at all simple about this person's life!

And I can't think of a better career for such a person than social justice.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys